One Hundred Ways For A Dog To Train Its Human

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One Hundred Ways For A Dog To Train Its Human

Author : Simon Whaley
ISBN : 9781444719550
Genre : Humor
File Size : 82.65 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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On days out to the beach, always be the first in the family to get out of the car, onto the beach and into the sea. Always be the last in the family to get out of the sea, onto the beach and into the car. Remember to shake excess sea water from your fur once you are inside the car. Humans may refrain from passing you food to test. To them, a piece of salmon, followed by Liquorice Allsorts, a chocolate cake, and a selection of vegetables is a foul combination. Humans believe meals should be categorised into three sections. A starter, a main course and a sweet. Disavow them of this. Food is food is food. Always make sure you have more energy at the end of a walk, than you did at the beginning. Believe me, humans love the futility of taking you for a walk to tire you out.
Category: Humor

100 Ways For A Dog To Train Its Human

Author : Simon Whaley
ISBN : 1593374143
Genre : Humor
File Size : 34.12 MB
Format : PDF, Docs
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Dog people like to think they're the alpha dog-but the dogs know better. In this playful guide, dogs learn how to make sure their masters don't master them-including tips on everything from drooling to mud rolling, not to mention the finer points of barking, yelping, and howling.
Category: Humor

A Cat S Guide To Humans

Author : George the Cat, owner of Celia Haddon
ISBN : 9781529353013
Genre : Pets
File Size : 82.49 MB
Format : PDF, Docs
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'Do you need a human in the first place? If you do, do not adopt a human on impulse. You may not get the right one for your lifestyle.' George the Cat is the feline world's favourite agony aunt. Now he brings us his irresistible, hilarious A-Z guide for fellow felines to help them navigate the human world, understand their sometimes weird and idiotic behaviour, and help turn human failings to feline advantages. Includes advice on how to move a sleeping human to the very edge of their bed, enjoy the use of their empty boxes before they're thrown out, and to get doors opened for you whether or not you have a private catflap. George also has a word of advice for humans: 'Don't let your cat get his paws on this book!' For fans of Secret Thoughts Cats Have About Humans and 100 Ways for A Cat to Train Its Human by Celia Haddon.
Category: Pets

One Hundred Muddy Paws For Thought

Author : Simon Whaley
ISBN :
Genre : Humor
File Size : 86.45 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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The follow-up book to the bestselling 'One Hundred Ways For A Dog To Train Its Human', this is the guide for all dogs who like to take a humorous look at the great outdoors! Excerpts from the book: On those wet, windy, wintry walks when you're as dirty and as slimy as you can get, don't slip and slide frenetically as you try to clamber over a stile. Let your human sweep you up into their arms and gently carry you over, whilst you watch the remnants of that cow pat transfer from your coat to theirs. Responsible humans like to know where you are at all times. Be considerate and tell them where you've been too, by leaving a trail of muddy footprints across all floor surfaces. It's only since humans have domesticated dogs, that you've had to be clean. Go ancestral. Get dirty!
Category: Humor

Tilly The Ugliest Cat

Author : Celia Haddon
ISBN : 9780600625582
Genre : Pets
File Size : 35.77 MB
Format : PDF
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Tilly has spent most of her adult life in an Oxfordshire shelter, unchosen, unwanted and practically feral. Seeking a distraction from her own troubles, the author and renowned pet columnist, Celia Haddon begins a project to transform Tilly into a household pet. Through Tilly's journey from unwanted and unadoptable cat to adored pet, Celia begins to explore her own inward journey and the way that cats had helped her through the difficulties of childhood and middle age, through to self knowledge. By loving Tilly she found she could love her inner self.
Category: Pets

Bluffer S Guide To Dogs

Author : Simon Whaley
ISBN : 1785212435
Genre : Humor
File Size : 80.54 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
Download : 890
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Instantly acquire all the knowledge you need to pass as an expert in the world of canine canniness. Never again confuse your BARF with your bite, your BAER with your bark, or your British bulldog with your Bavarian boarhound. Bask in the admiration of your fellow dog lovers as you pronounce confidently on the evolution of the family known as Canidae and hold your own against the most dogmatic of self-professed dog professionals.
Category: Humor

One Hundred Secret Thoughts Cats Have About Humans

Author : Celia Haddon
ISBN : 0340861703
Genre : Social Science
File Size : 39.80 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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Adopt a rescue human. They think they are adopting you. Humans that need homes go to special places where cats are kept. These are rescue humans. Humans can't caterwaul - except in the bath or sometimes when they play the piano. They cannot purr. Cat psychologists suggest that this gap in the human vocal repertoire is due to their lack of inner confidence and serenity. Baby humans don't have anyone of their own age to play with, but it doesn't matter as much as it would for a kitten as they are amazingly retarded. Gay tom humans make the best pets.
Category: Social Science

Ten Teatime Tales

Author : Simon Whaley
ISBN : 1517174279
Genre :
File Size : 44.11 MB
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Ten Teatime Tales is a collection of short stories by Simon Whaley, all of which have been previously published in UK and Australian magazines, and are ideal for taking some time out to read with a relaxing cup of tea (or whatever your beverage of choice is).
Category:

Toby The Cross Eyed Stray

Author : Celia Haddon
ISBN : 9780600631729
Genre : Pets
File Size : 44.91 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Mobi
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'Hunched among the shoes, half hidden by my dresses, filthy and terrified, he looked like a cat that might be seriously ill. He was toast-rack thin, with all his ribs sticking out, even through his longish hair...' As Toby's story unfolds, so does Celia's. From her alcoholic exploits as a Fleet Street journalist during the 60s, to the death of her mother, Celia's bond with the feline world becomes stronger. Ronnie, a former war correspondent with an incredible career also finds himself succumbing to feline charms and comes to need Toby as much as Celia does. This is a story of courage, hope and love in the most trying of circumstances.
Category: Pets

The Positively Productive Writer

Author : Simon Whaley
ISBN : 9781838078676
Genre : Language Arts & Disciplines
File Size : 24.93 MB
Format : PDF
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Can’t find time to write? Daunted by the sheer size of your writing project? Lost your motivation? Scared of being rejected? It doesn’t matter whether you want to write a page-turning novel, a life-changing non- fiction book, produce fascinating features or sizzling short stories, there comes a point when you have to sit down and write. That’s when negativity and despondency show up. To achieve your writing dreams, you need a positively productive mindset. Inside The Positively Productive Writer (Second Edition), you will learn how to: - embrace rejection, tame Imposter Syndrome, and avoid comparisonitis, - find more time to write, and turbo-boost your productivity by designating it ‘maker’ time or ‘manager’ time, - banish Writers’ Block, embrace sloppy copy, and celebrate your writing success, - and so much more! With an extra 40% positivity, this fully revised and updated second edition of The Positively Productive Writer will help you turn your creative dreams into writing reality. Simon Whaley is a bestselling author, magazine columnist, and feature writer. This second edition of The Positively Productive Writer draws upon his thirty years of published writing experience, and over two decades of creative writing tutoring.
Category: Language Arts & Disciplines

The Complete Article Writer

Author : Simon Whaley
ISBN :
Genre : Language Arts & Disciplines
File Size : 57.23 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Mobi
Download : 850
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Do you want to write magazine articles, but don’t know where to start? Or perhaps you want to break into new markets, but are not sure how. The Complete Article Writer will show you how to do all that… and more! Writing for the magazine market is the easiest publishing market to break into. But only if you can come up with the right idea for the right market at the right time. The Complete Article Writer shows you how to do that, time and time again. It also reveals how to maximise your article ideas: don’t write one article - write six or more! The Complete Article Writer shows you how to analyse a publication to identify its readership and the freelancing opportunities within it. Then it guides you into twisting your idea so it appeals to the core readership and the most important reader of all - the editor. With detailed advice about beginnings, middles and endings (the variety of different middle structures you can use to exploit your ideas further), along with other pieces of page furniture, including boxouts, sidebars and photos, The Complete Article Writer tells you how to offer an editor the complete package. Discover how to pitch your ideas and sell your article first before writing a single word. Learn how to negotiate the minefield of publishing rights and keep control of more of your work. Master all this and you will become The Complete Article Writer. Simon Whaley’s articles have appeared in a variety of publications, including: BBC Countryfile, Country Walking, Lakeland Walker, The Simple Things, Cumbria, Discover Britain, British Heritage, Writing Magazine, The People’s Friend, Coast and Outdoor Photography.
Category: Language Arts & Disciplines

The Complete Article Writer S Box Set

Author : Simon Whaley
ISBN :
Genre : Language Arts & Disciplines
File Size : 51.34 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
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Here it is, in one box set: the two books every article writer needs to sell a complete words-and-picture package to a magazine editor. How to write magazine articles and how to take photos that will help you sell those words. The Complete Article Writer shows you how to come up with the right idea for the right market, time and time again. Don’t write one article - write six or more! It explores how to analyse a publication to identify its readership and the freelancing opportunities within it. Then it guides you into twisting your idea so it appeals to the core readership and the most important reader of all - the editor. With detailed advice about beginnings, middles and endings (the various middle structures can help you exploit your ideas even further), along with other pieces of page furniture, including boxouts, sidebars and photos, The Complete Article Writer will show you how to offer an editor the complete package. And to ensure you approach editors professionally, it gives advice on how to pitch (selling an idea to an editor before you write the piece), and how to negotiate the minefield of publishing rights. Whether you’ve always wanted to write an article but don’t know where to start, or have had some success and want to build upon it further, reading this book will make you an editor’s dream supplier. You will become The Complete Article Writer. Photography for Writers: Which would you rather be: the writer paid £200 for an article or the writer/photographer paid £600 for an illustrated article? Practically every magazine uses photographs, so why not make the editor's life easier and supply them with your words? Become an editor's dream supplier by sending them a complete words-and-picture package. Some magazines will only use writers who can supply the photos, so taking photos might open up new markets to you. Digital photography has made photography accessible to all and, even if you have a mobile phone camera, it is possible to take publishable pictures. Photography for Writers explains the basics of digital photography, the different markets available to writers with a camera, how to submit their images, what to do with their images afterwards, how to use photography for research, and even how to get photos to illustrate your articles if you don't have a camera. Take your writing to the next level ... with photos! Increase your publication opportunities and boost your writing income!
Category: Language Arts & Disciplines

Puppytalk

Author : Simon Whaley
ISBN : 0340903066
Genre : Juvenile Nonfiction
File Size : 47.20 MB
Format : PDF
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Provides advice for young children on choosing, feeding, grooming, and caring for a puppy, and how to become friends for life.
Category: Juvenile Nonfiction

100 Ways For A Chicken To Train Its Human

Author : Diane Parker
ISBN : 9781444717549
Genre : Humor
File Size : 68.64 MB
Format : PDF
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From Fowl Play to Hen-tertainment, in this hilarious collection by Diane Parker the chickens show us who are really in charge, and what they're really plotting inside their coops! Don't worry about the morning after the night before. Unmade nests, broken eggs and scattered food -your human will not even notice the difference and they always have spare time to clean up after you. Free range means you have the right to roam. However you choose to do it, escape on a regular basis and refuse to return until you are ready. Try to tip your food hopper up so all the corn spills. That way your human will have to refill it on a more regular basis.
Category: Humor

The Complete Article Writer

Author : Simon Whaley
ISBN : 1502491818
Genre :
File Size : 55.13 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
Download : 405
Read : 1109

The Complete Article Writer began life as a series of eight step-by-step workshops that took delegates through the process of creating a publishable article. In book format its aim is the same: to show you how to get from a potential idea to a finished article written for a specific readership. The Complete Article Writer explores: - article ideas: generating ideas and maximising their potential - magazine analysis: identifying your potential readers and the aspects of your idea that will interest them most - article structure: choosing the best structure for your idea, and how to make it an engaging read - creativity: adding interest and sparkle to your article - pitching: selling your idea to an editor before you write the article - rights: understanding the rights a magazine buys from you, and how you can re-use your ideas. Simon Whaley's articles have appeared in a variety of publications, including: BBC Countryfile, Country Walking, Lakeland Walker, The Simple Things, Cumbria, Discover Britain, British Heritage, The People's Friend, Outdoor Photography, The Observer and the Daily Express.
Category:

The One Hundred Twenty Five Most Asked Questions About Dogs

Author : John Malone
ISBN : 0688113117
Genre : Technology & Engineering
File Size : 72.9 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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Provides the answers to such questions as why dalmations are traditional firehouse dogs, which dog breeds are best at learning tricks, and whether chocolate is toxic to dogs
Category: Technology & Engineering

My Dog My Buddha

Author : Kimberly Artley
ISBN : 9781642500035
Genre : Pets
File Size : 70.48 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Mobi
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#1 New Release in Animal Behavior & Communication - 100 Ways to Be a Better Dog Parent What your dog wants you to know: Our furry friends reflect the love and affection we pour into them. But any pet parent who is struggling with puppy training or ongoing behavioral issues knows that it’s easy to get frustrated. My Dog, My Buddha offers one hundred life lessons that will help you build a better relationship with your pet and get the behavior you want. We get what we project: Kimberly Artley, an expert in canine psychology will teach you how to truly understand dog behavior. She knows that our dogs look to us for cues, guidance, directives, and how to feel about each and every situation they enter into. Dog care is a dialogue. My Dog, My Buddha will show you how to manage that conversation with your pet from a calm and centered place. Unlike other dog training books: My Dog, My Buddha is meant to educate, empower, and equip the human end of the leash. In this book, you’ll learn how to: Bridge the disconnect between human and canine Find personal growth through the years with your dog Build a relationship on trust, love, and respect If you liked Training the Best Dog Ever, For the Love of a Dog, Dog Training for Dummies, or Rescued, you’ll love the empathetic approach to pet care and dog training in My Dog, My Buddha.
Category: Pets

Books In Print 2009 2010

Author :
ISBN : 0835250210
Genre : Publishers' catalogs
File Size : 21.62 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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Category: Publishers' catalogs